MARQUIS
by stock2007
Summary: Penny gives Sheldon a lift
1. Chapter 1

MARQUIS

Penny was just leaving work as her phone rang "oh hi Leonard what's up".

"Hi Penny here's the thing I've left our copy of Halo 3 in the office we were going to play tonight"

"yes Leonard 'and! ".

"Could you pick it up on the way home?". Leonard thought Penny had hung up "Penny you there?"

"yes I'm still here I'm thinking", Penny sighed

"ok Leonard where is it?"

"room 4572 thanks Penny"

_yah' fine I've only been on my feet all day_. Penny at last got to room 4572 "god you could get lost in this place".

Penny never knocked as it was Leonard's office, she opened the door to find Sheldon standing by a white broad . "Come in please" Penny looked behind her then looked at Sheldon

"what Sheldon?"

Sheldon gave a Penny a sarcastic look "oh sorry Penny 'that was sarcasm' Penny people knock, before coming into my OFFICE!". Penny clenched her fingers

_Leonard Hofstadter you are so dead_,!

"I'm sorry Sheldon Leonard said this was his office he asked me to pick his game up".

"Penny there are a number of errors in that statement," _again with the_ _sarcastic look_ ! "Leonards office is in the basement" Penny had moved to pick the game up from the table

"and two it's my game". Sheldon was too quick for Penny and he had the game in his hand.

"Ok Sheldon what happens now?" Penny's feet hurt and now her head hurt.

"Now Penny you drive me home but we need to stop on the way, I have a number of errands to run"

"sure Sheldon why the hell not"

"Penny was that sarcasm"

"yah little bit".

Leonard was smiling as he hung up after talking to Penny, Raj who had overheard the conversation sat down next to him "you do know she'll kill you or worse"

"no Penny's ok",

"dude this is Sheldon we're talking about".

Leonard's smile slipped just a little!.

As Penny pulled out of the parking lot, she saw Sheldon looking at the dash broad "Penny your fooling no one by putting black tape over your check engine light". Penny looked at Sheldon and smiled

"it was worth a try".

"Sheldon you know about things right?" _boy did she know what buttons to_ _press._

"_THINGS! Penny_ _THINGS! _I'm a theoretical physicist I know the whole universe".

"So that's a yes" Penny was laughing "sorry Sheldon I was just messing with you" Sheldon was looking out the side window "we ok Sheldon?". Sheldon turned his head and looked at Penny, he sighed he could not stay angry with Penny.

"Yes Penny we're good".

" Sheldon do you know the Marquise de Sade?"

Sheldon looked sideways at Penny "Penny I think you mean do I know off him he died in 1814".

"Yah ok so spill"

"Penny in as I applaud your search for knowledge, I must point out that an infamous French writer who gave us the term 'sadism' is a strange topic to ask about".

"Please Sheldon I caught a little on the history channel"

For the rest of the drive home only stopping at the comic book store and potty barn, Sheldon gave a detailed and at times graphic outline on the life of the Marquis de Sade. "He's most infamous work was '120 DAYS OF SODOM, as I'm sure you know his work was frequently banned due to the extreme cruelty"

"so not out on DVD then" _If Sheldon gave her that look once_ _more!._

As Penny stopped outside their apartment block "wow Sheldon he was some bad fu" "yes Penny he was not very nice" Sheldon cut in.

"Penny by your general demeanour since you picked me up, I feel some form of tricky or deception was used by Leonard am I right?"

Penny looked down at her hands "yah kind off" Penny looked up at Sheldon.

"Sheldon I don't have a problem picking you up I do kind of like your company"

Sheldon smiled "as I do yours Penny".

"Penny your sudden interest in forms of sadism would not have anything to do with Leonard and what is often referred to as 'pay back' would it?. Penny gave Sheldon a very mischievous smile . Sheldon could not stop himself from grinning.

"Oh Penny ,Penny, Penny, I'm in".


	2. Chapter 2

Pay Back

One of the things Penny loved about Sheldon was that he was never vindictive or sarcastic, a master prankster yes but vindictive no.

Leonard however had being vindictive and sarcastic down to a fine art, a child hood of being psycho-analyzed by your mother will do that to you, Sheldon always seemed to be the brunt of his petty jokes, some of his tricks however were not so petty. No one ever told Penny what had been behind the trouble on their Arctic trip, but she knew that the relationship between Sheldon and Leonard had changed since their return.

Sheldon could just ignore Leonard's petty and at times very childish attempts to play tricks on him, Sheldon had his work which was an integral part of his life nothing else mattered or could matter.

Leonard was still Sheldon's roommate but Leonard had caused to be Sheldon's best-friend, sometime ago Sheldon had once told Penny "I'm re-evaluating a number of friendship contracts. You are safe Penny".

The act that made Sheldon think of some form of retaliation was Leonard tricking Penny into picking him up from work, on the pretence of picking up their Halo 3 game. To Sheldon's mind his intellect protected him from the lower life forms and Leonard, but he would stand no truck with anyone using him as part of a trick on a friend.

"Sheldon sweetie I don't have a problem picking you up, I really enjoy your company" but Penny was mad with Leonard for tricking her.

On their drive home Penny had been asking Sheldon about the Marquis-de-Sade, she had seen part of his bio' on TV.

Thinking about what a bad ass like De-Sade got up to, made Penny think how _hot she would look dressed in leather with a whip_. And how she could get pay back on Leonard. And, as Sheldon had realized, what Penny was planning he had been only too willing to help her "I'm in". They were standing in Penny's apartment before confronting Leonard

"Penny I do admire your zeal in wanting to inflict pain on Leonard, but I do feel stealth is needed here".

"But Sheldon! I would '_so rock in a leather outfit_"

"Ah! Yes as fun as that sounds" Sheldon filed the image of Penny dressed in leather away in his head. "Physiological warfare Penny is needed here"

"Psycho' what, Sheldon?" Penny looked at Sheldon, her head tilted to one side.

"Physiological! Oh' heaven save us! We are going to have to mess with his head, Penny!"

"Now was that so hard Sheldon?" Penny grinned up at him.

'_Why do I allow this woman into my life?'_

"So what do we do Sheldon?"

"Do! Penny, we do nothing. We let Leonard's own paranoia do the work for us"

"Sheldon this is just pay back right nothing else?"

Sheldon smiled at Penny _which should have sent alarm bells ringing._

_That was the one problem with an eidetic memory you forgot nothing!_

"Oh Penny, now, would I hurt Leonard?"

But Penny had seen that mad-professor look in Sheldon's eye .

_Poor Leonard _

So as they walked into 4a as if nothing was wrong, Leonard grinned "Hi Penny sorry about the mix up. Oh good, you got the game".

Both Sheldon and Penny just looked at Leonard and smiled.

But whatever Sheldon had thought was going to happen 'didn't.

_Or so it seemed._

A week or so later Penny walked into 4a ,Sheldon was in his spot on the couch reading

"Hi Sheldon what's up?"

"What's up where Penny?"

_Wow that was all he had._

Penny sat next to Sheldon and turned to look at his face "Ok Sheldon what is it and don't say what is what . _TALK! TO ME_, and where are the guys tonight anyway?"

"Are you finished?" Sheldon was giving Penny his annoyed look but there was something else. "Leonard' Howard and Raj have gone to the movies"

"Oh I see. Didn't you want to go?"

"Penny the question of if I wanted to go was not discussed as Leonard only had three tickets"

"You are freaking kidding me, Sheldon! He only had three tickets and he took Raj and _HOWARD?"_

"I am here. They are not -you do the math Penny"

"Sarcasm Sheldon?"

"No"

Penny had never known Sheldon to be so quiet. As a rule you could never shut him up.

"Tea, Penny?"

"What? Oh yes. Thanks Sheldon" As Sheldon occupied himself making their tea, Penny was deep in thought. There was no way Leonard was going to win. This had gone beyond just pay back. Leonard had upset her Sheldon…wait… _her Sheldon?_

The very idea she could have feelings for Sheldon were crazy. He didn't do 'emotions' did he?

Penny sat next to Sheldon drinking her tea she looked sideways at him, if it had been anyone else Penny would just have said he looked a little lost' or unsure but this was Sheldon.

"Look Sheldon your plan is just not working I say we go to plan 'B'"

Sheldon looked down into Penny's face "Penny what is this obsession you have with leather?" although he would not admit it the image of Penny in her leather outfit was still very clear in his mind.

"Sheldon what has Leonard always fixated on?"

"Women, sex, you, and work"

"You could have left out the sex part, but yes he is still a little jealous and I think he still wants me?"

"Penny! to say Leonard is a 'little jealous' is to say humans only need a little air to breathe. He is obsessed _not that anyone could blame him for that_" Sheldon ended in almost a whisper.

But Penny had heard him "Thank you Sheldon" she said smiling.

Penny looked into Sheldon's deep blue eyes. She could have just sat next to him all night not touching just looking into his eyes.

"So plan 'C' Penny?"

"Oh right plan 'C' we need to start dating"

"_What! that's your plan we have 'coitus?"_

"Boy! Sheldon why is everything about sex with you?" Penny tried but she could not hold in her laugh.

"Yes ha' ha very amusing now 'coitus' Penny"

"Not right now Sheldon I'm thinking" Penny could see Sheldon's face was getting redder and his right eye had start to twitch, she shook her head "Sorry sweetie but it's so easy with you at times".

"Penny Leonard will be back soon so?" Sheldon gave Penny his patented glare.

"Ok Sheldon. We only act as if we're dating just in front of Leonard you know to make him jealous. After all, I am an actress Sheldon"

"Umm' and what would this dating comprise off?"

"Well we would keep it within your comfort zone maybe a little touching" Penny saw Sheldon's eyebrows go up "only on the arm Sheldon ok?"

"Yes I believe that would be agreeable very well Penny" Sheldon stood up.

"I'll draft a contract for you to read and sign tomorrow" as Penny stood up she was not sure what to do. Should she hug him, shake his hand, what? If he were anyone else, they would have kissed but this was Sheldon.

"Ok then I'll be going"

"Yes it's time for bed,Penny" Sheldon was getting annoyed that Penny was not moving, but then he had seen Penny's face light up as he said 'bed'.

"Penny I'm unsure why you are smiling? '_BUT GO HOME_"

As Sheldon started to walk towards his bedroom, he looked back over his shoulder at Penny who had still not moved "I bid you good night Penny please close the door on your way out"

Penny shook her head as she headed to the door _she was dating Sheldon_ _Cooper it may only be play acting but it was going to be fun_.

At the front door Penny stopped.

"Oh Sheldon"

"Yes! Penny" Sheldon almost yelled from his bedroom.

"I'll require one kiss per day in public make sure that's in our contract" Penny heard a bang from Sheldon's room as if he'd fallen out of bed "Night sweetie" Penny was still smiling as she crossed the hall to her apartment door.

Penny sat on the couch next to Sheldon eating her dinner, she looked around the guys no one it seemed had noticed how close she was sitting to Sheldon.

"So what's the plan for tonight guys?" Penny asked hoping that Sheldon would play along.

Howard and Raj were both looking at Sheldon waiting for a 'Sheldon put down' for Penny. Leonard's eyes were still on his food. Penny turned her head to look at Sheldon and smiled "Well Sheldon and I have plans so count us out" Penny could see a slight smile on Sheldon's face but his expression never changed while she had been talking. The same could not be said for Howard.

"_What the frack! _You and Doctor Doom have plans?" Raj whispered into Howard's ear "Just give me a chance Raj and I will- what plans?"

"Oh, we're just watching a movie, and I have an order of 'Penny Blossoms' to make up".

Leonard who had still not looked up from his food

"Very quiet there, Sheldon. Nothing to add?"

"No I believe Penny has covered all the salient points"

Raj again whispered in Howard's ear "Yes I'm going to" both Howard and Raj were grinning. Howard leaned forward "How about the less relevant points?" Penny stood up " I think we're done here. We have a movie to watch and Penny Blossoms don't make themselves".

As Sheldon stood up to join Penny at the door, Leonard looked up at Sheldon "Like to catch me up here Sheldon?" Leonard had tried to sound indifferent but the slight tone change in his voice gave him away.

" And what would you like to catch up with Leonard?" Howard and Raj had not moved from where they were sitting but their eyes moved back and forth between Sheldon and Leonard. Raj whispered in Howard's ear again "I don't know you're here too".

The tension was broken by Penny "Sheldon! Movie! Blossoms! Now!" Sheldon, who had not taken his eyes off Leonard's face, replied "Yes Penny"

As the door closed behind Sheldon and Penny, Howard was the first to speak "What just happened?"

Raj just shook his head but his eyes were on Leonard's face "You ok,Leonard?" Leonard stood up so quickly from his chair that Thai food cartons went flying across the floor "_How _could she do that right to my face?"

Howard looked confused "how could who? Penny?"

"_Oh come on! You all saw how she was looking at me trying to make out she's over me and using Sheldon of all_ _people"_

Now even Raj was confused "Dude, did I miss something?"

"No Raj but I think Leonard did"

Sheldon stood behind the front door of 4b listening to the voices over in 4a his smiling just slightly "Sheldon sweetie for those of us who don't have Vulcan hearing what's going on is it working?"

"Penny I think it may be working too well"


End file.
